I am waving on the silver sceen

Country style today

Using capsuls for hair. Hope they will do any difference. 

Today I spent hal of the day watching pictures in my bf's house with his family. that was very interesting. Also, I adore listening to stories and watching pics from old times.
Have a good weekend

Pain

I just love having some friends. Today I felt so fucked up, my bf letf for another job and I tried to face some problems. But instead of that my friend Elze consoled me. And I am so happy I didn't have to handle that pain. Also, another friend Ann tried to console me... but she couldn't make it. She is too sweet for that.
Now I can feel the joy of  my life and it's all because I have some good people around. And my big sister is coming home today. We will go out and have some ice creams.
People. Why there are so many pain in this worl? Why people get old? Today me and my bf went to visit his grandparents. I love them, adore them, especially grandpa. He liked me too, but today he didn't even remember me. Why this is happening? Why?
And why spring is so cold here? Why? I can't even dress beautiful...

Spring vacation

Today spring vacation officially started to me. I am so happy waking up in my parent's appartment, the one I grew up in. Hugging at night with m boyfriend (his work starts in a middle of night), sleeping in a cosy warm bed, waking up alone, having a cup of coffee, some cookies and reading good books. Waiting for my bf to come and I will make some tasty food for the breakfast. Life's good. It's a bit cloudy outside and a spring starts in my hometown. I like that cloudy, gloomy spring time.

The cup of coffee

Some flowers from BF

Some chcolate. I really fell in love with those stix

My morning... mmmm

Dog enjoys it more

My new dress. Like it a lot

And my new socks I was telling you about. Waiting for the good weather to put them on

El Mar

Today my little sister and I went to the sea. We live 20 min away from it (If you are going by car), but I visit it very very rare. Why this is happening to me? Maybe I would be in a better mood if I would go more often there? Maybe maybe. I should try to paint it one day, just sit and paint, like a deep meitation.
So, the weather was fine, very fine. But I wasn't in the best mood. I had an enormous headache. And the sea made it stronger... How is that possible? That's not even interesting. Why someone should read this shit?
I brought some seashales. wow. :D and one photo...

The same view. But somehow sea makes me feel alive. Even though, I was in a really bad mood today. 

Some stuff

Hello, pumpkins. I've been a bit busy but now, I will have a whole week for you and myself, my dear friends. And it will be something like that:

Yes, you understood good, I've got a some holidays ahead.
Today I've got home at 4 p.m. Lectures, dentist and a bunch of other stuff were done today. So, I had some pasta and then I thought "wow, the whole day ahead, I don't need to do any homework, I will definitely read my book today", but instead, I am searching for some funny cats photos and inspirational stuff in a new website I found recently. You can check it here pinterest. It's something like an etsay or I don't know, a bit like weheartit.
So, I shouldn't chat all the day with my mates on the computer and check all the inspirational stuff I can find, but I can't help myself. It's annoying. I even couldn't do my exercises properly today.

Do you, guys, like the new shape of my eyebrows. I know, I even shouldn't show or talk about it with you, but I really like it and I haven't changed the shape maybe since I graduated school. That's almost 3 years. I am so old... Hence, I love how strange my face looks now.

a bit scared of my empty eyes. I am such a narcissist

Well, lecturer really liked this work. I am wondering why :D

Oh, this new technique. I am getting it little by little, but the start was quite difficult... we are just in a middle of it

A closer view

Untitled

Why people have to die?

Prozac Nation

I don't even wanna know who reads this blog... Not cheking at all, also..have no clue how many followers do I have. By so little comments I get, I assume there are not a lot of them. Or maybe nobody reads it at all, which would be great, cos I don't have a lot to say recently.
I am getting through some kind of chronic sadness this spring, as people say to me all the time. Maybe Elizabeth's Wurtzel "prozac Nation" forces me to think about all the bad things around, to remember my depression times. This girl, well, she writes about herself and also, she is a Leo too, like I am. So She is getting through a big depression, which was bigger than mine, I think so. Nobody can meassure this, actually. But. I read this book for the second time and at last, I can see me back in the past. Oh my, and I can understand this girl so much. Cannot describe the feeling.
But. I assume, that parents should care more about their children. Depression can be a very searious illness and a cause of the suicide whatsoever. I don't like people saying that it's not searious if they haven't had it at all. They don't know that it hurts even more than a broken bone. And it continues all the time.
Of course, I think, that those more sensitive people have to find something really interesting in their life. It is very importait. Like when I've decieded I can't take it anymore, I used all my efforts and I got up. Even though, I have it back from time to time. But when I fight it again and I live in the joy. I was ashaimed to admit that I am really one of them, but I am.
So, if you wanna see the real depression from the closer view, you should read this book, or see the movie, which is great too. Plus, Christina Ricci is very similar to the writer, which makes no sense actually :)
I am sorry I can't see my typing mistakes

Elizabeth Wurtzel..a really really pretty woman. I like her memoir book and I find so many analogies. Like that she was a clever kid. I remember myself, that parents and teachers couldn't believe that I was so clever. And those damn clever kids never enjoy their life. They just keep asking. I always wanted to be little more mindless

Windy Spring

I promissed you I'll post more photos. So I try to do my best, only for you, guys. And also because I love taking phtos.

My Bf

Me with totally ruined hair and face

me.. understanding I look ugly

Together

And some kisses. We just can't stop kissing. People say that

El perro

At last... Some Sun

Paul's brother

Kitties

Yestrday I've got my new dress... at last

I like cutting hair

Boredom

I know, you haven't heard a lot from me recently. I was busy (?) if that's what I do is being busy.
The weather is terrible, I haven't found a job yet, I am still studying at the same place, reading same books I took from library and being in the same appartment with ugly water and with not enough of free space. Still living with me sister and still not drawing :D
Ok, so I  postponed a bit a meeting wih my another good friend and cousin Egle. While it's cold outside, I am not willing to go 100km away and be cold all the time, also, walking in the wind and fog is not my favourite thing in the world. Also, my BF's birthday is on This Friday. It's really awesome, that today I've got a free day and I am doing all that beauty stuff: masks, baths and lots of boring stuff.
The thing is, I wanted to talk to you about a really big problem, it's about boredom. Which is killing a lot of people, as now I see. As I said before, I started reading Chekhov, and he talks about the same things. I couldn't believe that I will find so many wisdom in this Russian writer's book. He writes so many stuff which is relevat today. I am in love with this author. Really. And he writes that so many people do so many unnecessary stuff only becase they are bored. Well, the time, when he wrote this book was quite difficult one. People didn't have electicity and books, they couldn't do anything interesting at long, cold nights. And today, what a coincidence, I found the whole book about th boredom. I haven't felt it before, haven't been interested in this strange thing. Even asked myself, how pople can be bored. But they sure can. My little sister always complains how much is she bored. Man, I don't have enough of time to do what I want But this spring was different. I was a bit bored, because I didn't want anthing to do. Today I have red, that there are so many types of boredom. One of them was mine previous month. It is cold boredom, which starts from feeling emptyness arond and in the Universe. That sort of boredom, I felt previous month, was the worst thing I have ever had. I didn't want to do my homework, to meet anyone or visit, to read or draw... That was tough. I felt exhausted and I was always thinking of how people die and there is nothing left... after all, I am better now.
Oh, the post is too long. But one interesting form of boredom I found was boredom from the romantic feelings. Well, that's a nice one ;)
What kind of boredom have you ever felt or feel now?

Today I bought a cleanser. Why the hell everybody says that is natural if there are so many chemicals in it? But it's better than stuff from markets, or not?

Corn plus yoghurt. My favourite food at this moment. Eating on the ground

Me at school, I was bored

Sorry again for bad quallity pics

Webcam

I am tired and sick. The spring has done it's work.

Just kiddin

And my not finished drawing after quite long time

P.S.Ann, Elze and Insea, I spend so much great time with you..

P.P.S. I promise in the deeper spring I'll post better and more pics. 

Anton Chekhov

I started reading Anton Chekhov and I adore him. Couldn't realise why I haven't red it before. He goes straight to the point, I like this trate a lot. Because a lot of Russian writers write too much of unnecessary bullshit in my opinion.

Also, I am a bit mad on Einstain, because he humiliated women, which I really dislike. I cannot think of a person as a clever one, who thinks, that women are stupid. Besides, I think that He isn't such a big person in a history, fuck him. I assume that women are even more clever than men. They have to prove the things we, women, already know.

Setera

I totally rule in Setera. Two days and I know all the countries of Asia and Europe. I feel proud of myself, even though I am a lazy person in Spring (the lack of the vitamines). Ok, it's not such a big deal for those who know all the countries from school times, but I haven't had a good geographic's teacher, me and some class mates used to laugh a lot in this lesson.
Also, today I bought a world map (really wanted to buy the map of stars, but I considered that since I started learning the countries, I should hang a world map on my spare wall), and an amazing gift for my bf (his Birthday is comming), and long grey socks I always wanted to have (show you them one day)
These are the proves that I did it :D Sent it to my Bf, now will show for you

The programe is called "setera". It's a good game actually

Dancing

Since I am not attending aerobic classes much I've decided to start doing exercises at home. But not those I was used to, I found something on youtube and I am so happy, that my muscles hurt as much as after the classes, also, I can do it daily. Which is amazing. And learning a bit some dance moves, also getting ready to wear bikini.
On Thursday I have a thing to do and if it will go well, I will tell you that thing. If not, I'll shut up for ever..
So, life is getting on track, except that my hair gone thinner (?)... Blast. So, I started taking vitamines, which I booked from the internet. You see, I am not sure if they work, I never believed in that sort of shit. But We will see. Did you know that vitamin B is very importnat for your hair and nails?
Today I have had too much information about how to maintain the beauty. I have red half of the book about that, while killing time before the Spanish classes. There are so many things to learn. I even found a book with the ancient women exercises how to make your skin younger. I doubt if it really works.

Some people say that I move quite well (but I wouldn't say that). The problem is I am too shy to dance infront of other people, but some, who saw me in those weak moments of my life, or while I was drunk, dancing, they say I do it well. So, When I was a kid, funny story actually, I recorded the video of me dancing to this music. I even had a special dance for it. And I still move the best listening to this soundtrack. It makes me move. Try it too. You know, that dancing helps very much?

Pissed off

I haven't been so pissed off since I was 18 years old. That's why today I eat hot chocolate + coockies. Niom niom niom. I am such a cry baby. I have to study for Spanish test, but instead I am just being in tumblr. I like tumblr, it's great. It keeps me happy for one moment. You can follow me here http://antique-mermaid.tumblr.com/
First time in a few years I feel such a big desire to disappear. Have you ever felt it? Well, you look around and you see nothing. You see people wanting money, attention and lots of unnecesary shit. God damn it, I hate this state. I hate that I have to live far away from my bf most of the time, that the only job I could get is the one which is very dangerous, at nights. Considering the fact that I don't have a car to go home.
But I try to be happy, if it's even possible... I wish we could get that damn green card.
I started to like one comedian George Carlin.

I like that he actually thinks that religion is a bullshit also, he is a reckless driver :) The man of my dreams. haha. He made a really hilarious movement with the wire of his mic and showed how he is pissed off about everything. That's how I feel today. Lots of bullshit around. 

B & W

Well, the spring is out for a while. It's again cold outside.
So, I've got an interview for the waitress job in the night club. I have to discuss so many details, because I am not sure about this job. So the interview will be on mondey. The job is at nights, which is a really big dissadvantage, because I don't have a car, don't know how to get home after the job. And of course the studies. But I really wanna work. They pay big money, why not?...
My taste in cloths is... strange. I don't know actually what I really like. I don't even what I want from life, excpt the fact, that me and my boyfriend, we both want to move to USA, my San Fransisco.
I found some really great stuff in black and white which I like.
Well, this is what I consider real fashion.

The coat is just amazing

The most beautiful girl I have ever seen