Strange Easter...

We woke up this morning and saw this view through the window:

It's a better winter than it was in winter....

We also painted eggs. Guess which one is mine?

Money problems?

Hello, darlings. I know I should deal with this mess going around in my life, so that's why I am not gonna weight you with those problems. I have one main thing to say, I am so very disappointed about one tattoo supply web shop and their delivery system. It takes almost a whole month now for my tattoo machine and some needles to come, even though I payed for  a quick deliver and payed extra money. So, this situation is holding me back from earning money at the moment and I am a little bit short on money. But the worst thing is that I left a guy with a half of the tattoo done (big one) and there is a line forming with tattoo requests. I guess I will survive...
How are you gonna spend yout Easter? I dislike Easter a little bit as you know. But I think I will spend it quite nicely this year. Since my family is not a big fan of this holiday either, me and my bf promissed we're gonna have a nice dinner with his huge family in his aunt's big house. They're quite rich and spending time with people, who knows what prada and chanel is and values good clothes and expensive food is what I need at the moment. Because, as I said, I am short on money. I feel shallow at the moment. But yes I like luxury, this is who I am.

I really like this song today.

What usually stays unsaid

Recently I've got this strange feeling that there is nothing more to learn from my parents and the two cities I've been living in for all my life. I know it's time for me to get up and change my current situation, at least when I will graduate from University this year. But my boyfriend still got two years left to study, I cannot be that selfish. I used to be selfish all my life, that's why I would not be a good mother and I don't want to become one too anyway.
Also, even when my bf will graduate, I am not sure where I want to live. We've been thinking about USA for a quite while now. He has some relatives there, we would have somewhere to stay for a while. But now this green card, tricky and long game. And I really love Europe, it's just there are only the few countries I would like to be living in and those are the ones, which does not accept foreign people. In my opinion there is one almost perfect country it is Australia. But it is so far away.

And today's qoute would be:

Bad quallity pictures

My boyfriends new watch I gave to him for his birthday. And new really sexy shirt.

I love my mew lip pencil. Amazing that it gives to me some kind of fatal look.

Yes, they looked really nice yesterday. I did not have time to capure them back then.

At last, I will feel safer while going outside...

Book maniac

No make-up is good for me today, not trying to impress anyone, just to enjoy the longest hair I might ever had.

I think I might trim my hair a little bit, bit though.... I don't have scissors for that since I am not living with my hairdresser sister.
Yesterday I brought another pile of books. I started reading Dostojevski, a book about design, art managment, the history of movies, costume design and world's interesting history. I am a book maniac recently. I've decided since my new tattoo machine is not coming and I am not working on my bachelor disertation and not working at all, I should consume my time properly, because time has a huge value, so thats why I am reading tones of amazing books and even more tones are waiting for me....

Kat Von D

As you probably know from some of my previous posts I admire Kat Von D very much. I am pretty aware of her tattoos and even some of the mistakes she made in her life, but I sitll like her as a person and consider her an inspiration. As you know tattooing mostly was manly job, but now there are so many women tattooing and even very very well (I am not sure what I am writing now). Anyways, so I am following her on instagram, she was the first person I started following. And I'd love to share some of her inspiring photos, they are all ove the internet, so this won't be like stealing or something. Also I want to say that the best way of living is living your dream and passion.

I love her office very much

Some inspiration

I thought that my windbags are getting a little bit too crazy and too boring. So, I would love to introduce you to my recent inspirations from my tumblr blog, which you can visit here

I would love to have this coat, a lot. 

Recently thinking of getting the tattoo on the same placement. But I will change my mind and I won't get it anyway...

I have same pants in black. Maybe I would love to have these in the same color as in the picture above too.

My inspiration recently consists of baroque style, black/ red/ beige colors, details, vivid flowers, amazing style, sophistication and luuxury. All the baroque architecture inspires me to think of crazyest outfits and art pieces. Thoses churches or castles.... they look amazing and inspiring. I knew one day I will fall in love with baroque style. That's why Dolce and Gabana and Alexander Mcqueen are very wanted designers for me.

Bad days

Yesterday wasn't the best day, today isn't the best day either... My both tattoo machines failed yesterday, I managed to finish the half of the piece, whih took me 3 hours in terrible conditions.I was late for the birthday and I felt in a trap. But after few men checked my machines, we realised this is not possible and we postponed the tattoo till the next Friday (?)...

But I still did not miss the birthday...

Also yesterday I kinda went shopping for some cosmetics, I do not buy almost anything, so I decided I should. I was willing to buy a lipstick, but at last I found a lip pencil, I really liked it, but in the evening I noticed that it was broken. Basically, you can use it only for one time. Also, I bought a nail polish, which looked like a skin color, which apparently was not. Unlucky shopping. And today my bf got sick.
But my mothet in law saw that I was sad about the lipstick pencil (?), so she gave me a Dior lipstick. Nice.

Short notice

I know I am pissing someone off with those stupid posts or with not posting here, but I have to say, I survived this day, it was exhausting. I had 4 clients today, they all were annoying, did not make appointments with me, I drew every single fucking piece with my bear hands and I had to finish one more design in the evening. Only one good thing happened, my university gave me money. I did not expect it to be possible :)
Tomorrow, or more today, it is my boyfriend's birthday and I have a big tattoo too. I wish it was only his birthday and I hadn't work with those ugly tattoo machines, which aren't working.... and I think I won't be able to make ittomorrow. But I think I'll take a camera to a little birthday dinner. Maybe some photos at last?

Not so good...

Today is a disguisting day. I woke up in a really crapped apartment, after that we went to buy me pants, which we could not find. One thing I cannot get, why some of pants are ok to me in my size and some in a size lower? Can there be one size? Also, the choices are low. I went to zara - nothing. Went to mango - nothing. And even to the specialized jeans shops. It seems there are no beautiful pants to me, so I left wearing my ugly old jeans. I feel desperate and I want to go to the gym at last. That is it I am pulling myself together next week and going to the gym next to my home....

But at least I bought something on the discount, it's a cosmetic holder (?) haha :D from mango. I really loooove it. 

Alexander Mcqueen

Yesterday we've spent an evening watching a documentary about Alexander Mcqueen. It was so inspiring and uplifting. It's been few years now maybe I found Mcqueen and his creations, but yesterday I got some new information. I knew he was extravagant, but I did not know his fashion shows was like art performances and all touching some kind of subject, which remain like a global secret. Like slavery, rape etc.
I really appreciate and admire Mcqueen's point of view and his fashion. He did a lot during his life and he ended it in a very interesting way. For some maybe it's cliche, because he commited suicide, but for me this looks like the way to show the world, that money and fame is not all that we can achieve during our lives. It appears that lots of famous and respectable people showed us these things with their lives, but we never take it for real.
Anyway, Alexander Mcqueen, like a Coco Chanel, was one more fashion genius, whose life ended quite soon indeed.

This is one of my favourite fashion shows, which took a place in some kind of mansion.

His famous Clutch bags

Ad hiself. I know that he had a tattoo with a Shakespear's words on his upper arm, I gues this skull is involved in this....

Inspiring tattoo artist

There is one tattoo artist I admire in Lithuania it's Silvija Šablinkstaite. I think we met once very long time ago, but I cannot be sure. Also I am sure I know one of her photos very well, but you will never know. So, she is a huge inspiration to me and I wish I was like her one day, I mean, so good at tattooing and stuff. She graduated Vilnius art Academy, almost the dream of all Lithuanian artists. I never applied there, because I was too silly, too young and never believed in myself.
Take a look at some of her works, I am sure, If you use tumblr, you saw some of her works.:

This one is quite known on the internet.

Too personal...

Recently I've been very down and I can see all the numbers reduced of the blog readers. Even though I've been quite busy those few days, I feel lonely and lost. I keep eating dishes in very strange places like hospital and my sisters' homes. I am feeling like I am really alone alone in this world and I don't even want to try for myself and coock anything. I've lost some vital pounds. I call them vital, because I have a number which can't get higher or lower, after this happens I start feeling unwell. I remember myself, when I lost a lot of pounds during my desease, I felt like a reaper and very fragile, very weak and thin. That's why I don't want to go up or down. Ok, it's too personal!!

I need to work on my final paintings and I don't know, concentrate maybe.... Eating chocolate today, the best thing which happened in a few days.

My hair is a mess

Every single spring my hair becomes shitty, thin and shitty... I am almost getting used to this. Even though it makes me puke. All the damn winter I saved it from cold and damages, I kept it in plait, but apparently Nature has her plan for me yet.

After I wash it, it looks fine, but feels thinner. But after all, who cares?

In the morning I felt that my eyes are itching, I used eye dropps my mom gave me and look how strange my eyes look here.

P.S. Today I spent some good time with my friends. But I cannot get back to studying yet. Feels like hell.

Krysten ritter

Recently I've been watching a TV show "Don't trust the B....". At first I did not get it, but after few episods, like always, I got into it. And when I finished wattching all two little seasons I saw that it was canceled. What the heck? Especially that all the feedbacks were great and why would you cancel a good TV show anyway?
But, my post is not about that, I was fascinated by the charm and beauty of this actress Krystenn Ritter, she was one of the best and main there. Very beautiful human being indeed.
Take a look by yourselves. She makes me wanna dye my hair black again :D

I don't know anything about her yet, but I really appreciate her looks. Her style is amazing too, she reminds me of French woman. 

Surgery

I got back this evening very tired, but happy too. I spent almost a whole day at hospital or buying fruits and yogurts. But I have never seen my boyfriend so brave indeed. It is the first time I saw him after the operation, he had some in the past, but we weren't together.
 At first in the waiting room I was a little bit nervious, I saw a nurses transoprting one fully grown up man from surgery room with the same nose issue, he was almost about to fall asleep, but this is not good, when you are after the narcosis, because a person could forget how to breathe. And this person apparently did and went all blue. Scary moments, poor man had a nurse sitting and observing him. And then after an hour and a half of waiting my man came out, I was nervious and seeing him like that was rather interesting than scary. I hide my emotions very deep, but apparently that was not as scary as I imagined. And he kept hiself awake. Well, I was there to help him and please him, but he really understood that he cannot fall asleep. I was a little bit afraid that he will stop breathing and kept shaking him, but he was braver than any man I've seen in this block of patients. And he looks very pretty with all those tubes and tampons in his nose. I could not go through that sort of surgery, because of the lack of oxygen. It seems the person, who had this surgery, has to stay calm and just breathe with no talking, no drinking or eating.
Anyway, I've seen a lot today and I am very proud of my boyfriend, he was one of the youngest patients, but very very patient and wasn't complaining at all. Also, he has no troubles with sleeping without his nose, because he did it anyway, before the surgery :D
I had to talk to someone about this, but all the people are too busy....

waiting waiting waiting

I think my dream is very near to come true. Be patient, Vestina... I got all the info and maybe it won't cost as much as I thought, but I still haven't got a whole sum, even if it would cost cheaper.
Today I got exhausted... from my very core. We've spent 5 hours in the hospital WAITING. And another exhausting day is tomorrow, when my bf won't be able to breathe and his nose will be all bleedy and scary and again waiting waiting waiting.
Also, I forgot to tell you that at last I ordered new tattoo machine. Again, I am waiting for it to come. It seems that whole life is about waiting. But the machine is made from damascus steel. It is not from those super duper professional ones, but it is for a professional beginner. Also, I got only one, another one, which I will buy in the future, will be a totally professional one, I believe so.

Oh, baby come to me as soon as possible. We have some work to do.

It's getting better

I would say that everything is getting better even my teeth. The university is gonna compensate our final works maybe even the whole sum I spent on canvases yet, I don't care about the colors too much, because I am planning to use bad ones at the beginning and after all I will apply oil colors.
Tomorrow my boyfriend will go to th hospital, there he will spend a night and after this night his nose will be operaated, because it is broken for more then a decade and he has some difficulties with breathing and ears. I like this part, where he will get his nose straightened the most :D I always found it a little bit unattractive. I don't care about the big, or curved nose, but when it's broken it look very asymmetric. Even though this operation is not about straight nose, just about his health and abillity to exercise without any difficulties again. Also, the hospital covers a total operation, we will only need to pay for some special treatments. Which is nice.
I was willing to show you my outfit of today so much, but I could not get a camera and my cellphone takes awful pictures with a flash...

The best thing in the spring is that you finally get so many compliments, maybe it's because I am without braces, but it's so damn awesome. Also very good feeling wearing light coat, my new bag and new shoes. I do still have to cover my head though, because my ears are too sensitive even for the smallest wind.

Free day

Today it is officially free day in Lithuania, because we celebrate our freedom. So, I got back from my home town, my bf was at work, and look what I found:

A zara bag, which I was a little bit obssesed with. My bf bought it for me. I am happy, I will make some delicious cerial for him now... It does not look in the photo good though, but I was so sad that my previous bag became dirty and I could not wash the stains out. Also, this bag was made with safer products, it says here - save the earth. Beautiful indeed.

New York, please...

I always loved France and Italy, because it represents what I imagine when we're talking about Europe. But recently I've been craving to visit Nrew York or even live there. Soomething is wrong with me. When I see pictures of New York, I feel strange, like I've been there before. I wish I could be there now. I think it has something amazing during Autumn, winter and spring. But I never wanted to live there during summer. It must be very hot there.
But one thing bothers me in USA, they don't know what real luxury is, France and Italy are the best in this.

And especially this...makes me feel good and smile

I am boring

The tattoo I did today:

My tattoo machines are a total crap and I need at least one new. When my bf will get baack from work, he will do a little research for a new one. Waiting to see and to get it.... Today I felt crappy during tattooing. Very unpleasant feeling....
Nothing special happened, I am still reading a book about feminsts and being scared to send pictures for my professor. She is very strickt.