Before Birthday depression

Hello. I am stable, at least a little bit. At first I was depressed for a whole day (so not me haha) that I am not working in any tattoo shop, then that I am back to Lithuania and today that we are all gonna die eventually. It always happens a week before my birthday. But every single year brings me new things to be depressed about before my B-day. It is sad, however still feels too deep at the moment. You know, it's summer, you are suppose to be happy, but I can't.
Yesterday I did my first tattoo after a month break, I thought that my hands are gonna shake, but they did not. Yes, it took a little bit longer to adjust the machine and sort the things out. Today I was also tattooing and it felt way easier...
I am also quite sad that I did not miss anything in this country. I did not meet with my friends yet and I am looking forward to doing this. I am planning something on my Birthday, but after all, I think that eventually I will end up with 3 people drinking wine at home, like last year haha.

I got so tanned in USA that everyone here in Lithuania notices that. I also got a little bit more tanned yesterday. Now you can see some freckles on my face, that is so rare. aaaw