Bad days

These days are terrible. Two weeks in a row I cannot start attending gym, because I fuck up my appointments somehow and I am worst at tattooing. A least it feels like it. Yes, a new tattoo machine is great, my lines are straight, but yesterday I forgot a nipple, it's a rubber piece and I tried to style something up, I made it first time, but the lines became faded. How in the first place I did it? Just because a person went from far away to get a tattoo at me. So, we had to postpone it.
And it feels terrible to live my life, the four big paintings, which look ugly, lectures and fucking tests, which I hate and I don't want to go anymore. I am so tired of this shit. And now waking up and seeing snow and very much of it, in a middle of spring, feels horrible. Like I would love to punch someone in a face or go to coma at last. My biggest dream. I wouldn't care about money, food, tattooing, aspirations in life and fucking snow in a middle of spring. Poor birds, they have no idea what the fuck is going on.
And the worst thing is that my mom is sick. I wish I could help her, I was willing to stay with her until she will get better, but she wouldn't let me.

ew