Friendships are fragile

I wanted to make a little break this week from my studies. I know I can't do that now, but who cares? Some of the lecturers are sick and do not participate in the lectures, so we spend our leisure time as we want to. Today one did not come, so me and some of my course mates went for a walk in the nocturnal city (well, ir was only 5 p.m., but already dark, of course). Anyway, recenntly I get this strange feeling, that my thoughts are very strong, because anything I want at a time, I get it. We went to a park and my one of the best friends now live next to it, I wanted to meet her, I even thought of inviting  myself at her place. But I hoped I'll see her there walking her dog, and it did happen. I felt so happy, therefore we went for a cup of coffee, that ended with a long chat. After All, I think our thoughts are very strong and that I should believe and insert more positive thoughts in my brain.
Anyways, this friend of mine is becomming something special to me, but at the same time a friendship feels so fragile. It can end anywhere and anytime. That scares me. I have like this huge experience in breaking up with friends best friends and I tried to protect myself from the heart ache the recent years. But at the end of the day I realise that you have to try, even if you will loose. Yes, I have friends, but I do not let anyone so close and I feel like I am breaking my own rules now. I hope this won't end bad. Wish me luck on that.
P.S. Tomorrow we are celebrating her birthday. I hope it will not continue during a whole night, like it almost does with her.

I started wearing thinner clothes since I have a warm winter jacket. Yeeey. 

I look like an alien here